Fun Facts Friday

Classic Resume Bloopers - Know Them So You Won't Make Them

If you've ever watched those TV blooper shows, you know how funny slip-ups, gaffes and blunders can be. But while laughter may be good for the soul, it's certainly not the response you want your resume to produce.

Baby Boomers will recall the often hilarious pronouncements of Archie Bunker, the patriarch of the popular 1970s sitcom "All in the Family." With just a slight slip of the tongue, Archie's intended meanings frequently became completely convoluted (e.g., "consecration" instead of "concentration" and "mental pause" instead of "menopause").

If your resume contains any such Archie-like malapropisms, it's sure to be memorable, but it won't leave the lasting impression you're shooting for. Proofread your resume meticulously, and share it with trusted friends and colleagues to make sure you haven't inadvertently substituted one word for another. Keep in mind that your computer's spell-check function often will not catch these errors, since the problem is one of incorrect word choice rather than misspelling. To help ensure that your resume finds its way to the interview pile and not the circular file, avoid these 5 classic resume bloopers, culled from real-life resumes of job seekers from all levels, industries and career fields:

1. "Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts." Sales managers aren't likely to be impressed with this self-proclaimed underachiever.

2. "Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget." Every hiring manager is searching for employees who exceed budgets by millions of dollars.

3. "Participated in the foamation of a new telecommunications company." This job seeker was also in charge of bubble control.

4. "Experienced supervisor, defective with both rookies and seasoned professionals." Many of us have had a boss like this at some point in our careers, but you usually don't find them being so up-front about their leadership inadequacies.

5. "Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement." Sounds like a fun job.


Funny Bloopers Excerpted From Fortune Magazine:
-“Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
-“Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
-“Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
-“Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
-“Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
-“It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
-“Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
-“I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
-“You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
-“I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
-“Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
-“Marital status: often. Children: various.”

http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/, http://www.resumepower.com/resume-bloopers.html, http://blog.resumebear.com/job-humor/resume-bloopers/