Side-splitting Resume Bloopers!
• Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
• Interests: “Gossiping.”
• Employer: “Myself; received pay raise for high sales.”
• Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
• Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
• Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”
• Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
• Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
• Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”
• Special skills: “I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
• Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
• Hobbies: “Mushroom hunting.”
• Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”
• Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”•
• Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando’s proximity to Disney World.”
• Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
http://www.resumania.com/arcindex.html, http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2007/04/25/10-dumbest-resume-blunders/#comments, http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/#ixzz1Qm4BdMcE
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