Mentoring Monday

10 Key points for the Mentoree

1. It's your job, not theirs. The focus of mentoring is on you, the mentoree. Therefore, don't expect your mentor to do all the work. His or her role is to facilitate your development, not do it for you. Take the initiative and follow-up on agreed upon goals.

2. Think commitment, not lip service. Regular, ongoing contact is one of the most important building blocks for successful mentoring. Agree with your mentor to meet on a regular and ongoing basis and avoid canceling appointments.

3. Show up for the relationship. Be prepared before your meeting with anything agreed upon and with an issue to discuss that's important to you.

4. Give back and get more. Mentors don't usually ask how the mentoree has benefitted from the relationship. Take the time to share examples and to say "thank you" on occasion, and you'll often find that the mentor will give more without your having to ask.

5. Keep expectations realistic. Unstated assumptions or expectations can easily derail a relationship. To avoid this, you and your mentor should both discuss your expectations of each other and the relationship.

6. It's risky, but it's healthy. A mentoring relationship is not meant to make you comfortable with where you are. It should challenge you both professionally and personally. This can't happen unless you're willing to take risks.

7. Be yourself; we already have everybody else. You needn't act exactly like your mentor. You are a unique person. Recognize your uniqueness and resist the temptation to clone your mentor. This is especially important when considering diversity initiatives.

8. Don't be afraid of your mentor's silence. You're in a mentoring session and you seem to run out of things to say, and your mentor isn't helping because all she or he is doing is keeping quiet. This is a good thing! Your mentor's silence is inviting you to probe more deeply into what is on your mind, and it's an opportunity to share more deeply in the relationship.

9. The elephant will crush you. Don't sit with an issue that you should discuss with your mentor; otherwise, it will severely impact and could derail your relationship. If something is not working in the relationship, chances are your mentor is feeling similarly, but neither one of you is taking the responsibility to deal with it.

10. Pass it along. Since you're enjoying the mentoring experience, give back by becoming a mentor to someone else. Whether it's a peer, a subordinate, a family member, share with others so that what your mentor has shared with you gets passed along through you.

http://www.management-mentors.com/resources/april-2009/