Don't answer any questions like these job candidates did! Q. What five or six adjectives best describe you?A. Really, really, really, really, really cool.
Q. Why should I hire you?A. Because they say you should always hire people who are better than you.
Q. What do you remember about your life as a child?A. The courts promised to suppress all that after I turned 18. Why do you want to know?
Q. Did your grade-point average reflect your work ability?
A. Absolutely. Maximum results for minimum effort has always been my goal.
Q. What can you tell me about your creative ability?A. I think my answers to most of your questions are pretty good indicators.
Q. Tell me about you as a team player?A. Teamwork is OK, as long as other people don't get in the way.
Q. How do you define a "problem person"?A. Anyone who disagrees with me.
Q. Do you consider yourself to be a smart person?A. No. But I'm the only person in the world with that opinion.
Q. Describe your management style.
A. Don't do anything you can make someone else do for you.
Q. What is your greatest weakness?A. Three-foot putts for par.
Q. How do you handle change?
A. I usually put it in a jar in my sock drawer.
Q. Can you supervise people?
A. Sure. Tell people what to do, then kick their butts if they don't do it.
Q. How do you go about setting an example?A. I never let anyone catch me sleeping in my office.
Q. Are you a good communicator?A. Huh?
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