Someone I was coaching recently wrote in their development plan that one of their goals was to “earn the respect of more people at work.” I thought that was an interesting goal and asked her to tell me more about her comment. She said, “I just don’t feel like people respect me so I want to earn more respect.” When I asked her specifically what behaviors she thought she needed to exhibit in order to earn respect, there was a long pause and she gave me a blank stare.
You’d be surprised how many times I go through this same “respect” discussion. So here’s the deal…respect is something you have to earn – it’s not something handed out free on a silver platter. If you want to earn respect then you need to ask yourself this question, “How can I change my behavior to earn more respect from others?”
Here are some of my personal suggestions for earning respect:
- Use active listening skills – really listen and hear what people are saying.
- Treat others with dignity and courtesy at all times.
- Keep all your commitments – and never make a commitment you can’t keep.
- Be patient with people; realize that most people want to do what’s right.
- Treat others as they would like to be treated; in other words, learn to flex your social style so you can work better with others.
- Don’t state your opinions unless you can back them up with data. And be sure you fully understand the situation before you comment on it.
- Be sincere.
- Be generous.
- Be humble.
- Be confident, but exhibit confidence without arrogance.Sometimes I think we speed through life so quickly that we don’t take enough time to really hear other people. To do so takes the ability to be patient, generous with your time, and sincerely care about others. These are all behaviors that will lead to earning more respect from co-workers.
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