Witty Wednesday

Six Job Hunter Horror Stories

Job hunting can be a scary endeavour. The following true stories will raise the hair on the neck of even the bravest job seekers. You can learn from their hard-earned lessons. (Names have been changed to protect the traumatised.)

Horror Story No. 1: The Invisible Man
"I'd been looking for a different job for several months and after much searching I was finally offered a new position," Julie N., an administrative assistant, says. "Of course I accepted, but days after I'd given notice to my current employer, my new employer called and told me they had re-evaluated their financial situation. They were rescinding their offer!

"Panicked, I tucked my tail between my legs and went looking for my current boss to tell her I wouldn’t be resigning after all. I made every effort, but she was tied up in meetings all day. The following morning, during a staff meeting she made reference to my upcoming departure. I was stuck. I had no choice but to reveal my predicament and ask for my old job back – in front of the entire office staff. She gave me two months to find a new job."

Lesson: Always confirm a new job offer before you resign from the old one.

Horror Story No. 2: A Nightmare on Elm Street
"I once called regarding an ad for a 'marketing rep.' The interview consisted of walking door to door (in coat and tie) with another employee as we tried to sell car servicing vouchers," Phil G., an account executive, remembers. "He would try to make a sale, and then ask me to try one as part of the interviewing process. In between, my interviewer would ask me questions about my career goals and dreams.

We stopped for lunch at a McDonald’s and he had to borrow money from me so he could eat! The final stage of the interview included a closed-door motivation session with all of the current marketing reps. They sang songs, clapped, and chanted the company motto (which I don't recall). I had to think fast. It was raining that day. I told my coach/interviewer that I had left my car window open. I got up, ran out and never looked back."

Lesson: When scheduling an interview, inquire about the role and location.


Horror Story No. 3: Friday the 13th
"One of my first jobs as a supervisor was to interview candidates for an administrative assistant position," John S. recalls. "We scheduled a full day of initial interviews. Following a very wet and rainy night, some areas of our office roof were leaking and maintenance had a couple of buckets in the hallway. Not a great first impression, but well, it was a quaint old office building.

"Each applicant had to complete a battery of written tests. As one candidate dutifully sat at a desk outside my office, I heard a 'crack,' a 'swoosh' and then a huge splash. The ceiling tile just above the candidate had collapsed under the weight of the rain water and drenched her. Wet but unharmed, the experience clearly dampened her spirits and her expensive interview suit. She immediately informed me that she was no longer interested in the job."

Lesson: Prepare for a rainy day and bring an umbrella.


Horror Story No. 4: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
"Looking to escape the policies, procedures and politics of a big company, I sent my C.V. to a small, privately-owned manufacturing company that was looking for a top executive. I received an invitation from the owner of the company to come to an interview. His office had a fireplace, very comfortable-looking sofas and looked more like a living-room than an office. The interview went well and I was excited about the flexibility of the job, the tremendous earning potential and the opportunity to travel around the world to visit clients," Patrick L., a top financial executive says.

"That is, until the owner asked if my wife would be willing to travel with me. I explained that wasn’t possible as she too was a professional and had her own full-time career. He then asked if I would be comfortable travelling with an escort as many of their international clients expected to be entertained and treated to lavish dinners with their significant others! Having invested an equal number of years in both my marriage and my career, I decided I wasn’t willing to put either at risk, even if this sounded like my dream job."

Lesson: Don’t lose sight of what really matters.


Horror Story No. 5: House of Wax
"I drove 300 miles each way at my own expense to interview for a position at a particular company," Matthew H., a marketing manager, says. "When I sat down for the interview, the interviewer (an assistant manager) only asked me ONE question, "Can you tell me about yourself?" After I gave a brief 90 second introduction, she indicated that was all the questions she had and asked if I had any questions for her."

"Somewhat baffled, I proceeded to INTERVIEW HER -- on her background and skills, her position, her department, the company, company culture, etc. With such a complacent and unenergetic attitude to recruiting qualified employees, I left that interview and the company unimpressed."

Lesson: Thoroughly research a company and prepare a list of questions before heading out to an interview.


Horror Story No. 6: Psycho
"I had been looking for an opportunity to relocate to the North-East from London and move into sales management, when I received a call from a company in Liverpool about a position as a regional sales manager. They offered to fly me in for an interview with two of their senior sales managers. I had heard industry rumours that the company wasn’t doing too well and that their technology wasn’t exactly keeping pace with the competition. But I was impressed that they were going to pay for me to fly in from London, and was flattered that they were interested in me," Tricia C., a national sales manager, recalls.

"When I arrived, I discovered that the address they provided was not a company office, but instead it was a low-budget B&B close to John Lennon airport. The room number they gave me was for a guest room, not a meeting room. I was greeted by two old seemingly unwashed guys in badly-fitting suits who had spread a number of company brochures out on the bed. The rumours were obviously true!"

Lesson: Trust your instincts and first impressions.

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