Witty Wednesday

Funny Job Titles

Update 25/09/09: when I blogged this article, all the funny job titles linked to real postings on Craigslist. As time passed, Craigslist removed the old postings, breaking all my links so I’ve removed them. Believe me though, those were the real titles used. Enjoy!

1. experienced bra fitter – I bet they had trouble finding candidates for this one.
2. PlayStation Brand Ambassador – please report to your residence in the United States of Nintendo.
3. Eyebrow Threading – I REALLY hope this has something to do with dolls.
4. Administraive/ Secretary – ok, ok, we get it. It’s clear where you need help.
5. Finish Carpenter – for when the Start Carpenter gets tired.
6. Helpdesk Technician @ Pentagon – “Uh, hello? I’m having a problem with this missile…”
7. Nail Tech – so nails can be pretty complicated…
8. Remedy Engineer – aren’t those called “doctors”?
9. Saltlick Cashier – new trend in the equestrian industry. Ok, enough horsing around.
10. Molecular Biologist II – when Molecular Biologist I gets promoted.
11. Breakfast Sandwich Maker – we also got one of these recently.
12. Hotel Housekeepers – why can’t they just say ‘hotelkeepers’?
13. Preschool Teacher #4065 – either that’s a really big school or they’ve got robot teachers.
14. glacéau drop team – for a new sport at the Winter Olympics: ice-water spilling.
15. PLUMMER/ELECTRICIAN – get a dictionary/thesaurus first.
16. DoodyCalls Technician – they really shouldn’t put down janitors like that.
17. Golf Staff – and here I thought they were called clubs.
18. Pressure Washers – what’s next, heat cleaners?
19. Sandwich Artist – another “Jesus in my food” wannabe.
20. Self Storage Manager – this is for self storage?
21. Qualified Infant Caregiver – too bad for all the unqualified caregivers on the list.
22. Ground Support – but there’s just more dirt under there.
23. Gymboree Teacher – the hardest part is not burning your hands sliding down the pole.
24. COMMERCIAL space hunter – so they did find animals further out in the cosmos? Who knew.
25. JOB COACH – if they’re unemployed when they get to you, what does that say about them?
26. KIDS KAMP INSTRUCTOR! – no spelling ability required.
27. POOLS SUPERVISOR – “yeah, they’re still wet…”
28. HOUSE MANAGER/TEEN SUPERVISOR – see the dictionary under P, for Parent.
29. Licensed Seamless Gutter Contractor – just sounds bad.

Funny Job Listings

1. Drive Around Round Rock and get paid!! – seems simple enough.
2. Landscaping Labor – the new Green Party.
3. ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER – and you thought only American Idol was manufactured.
4. Wine & Spirits retail store looking for partime help – maybe they should stop drinking their merchandise first.
5. Attractive, Busy Professional Seeks Very Attractive Personal Assistant – sounds one-sided to me
6. The Perfect Nanny Needed – Didn’t Ms. Doubtfire retire when the movie ended?
7. You might want to work with us forever – depends on your health plan.
8. I WANT TO HIRE YOU ON AT $500 PER DAY – what happens at the end of that day?
9. Where Are You? – right here. Where are *you*?
10. RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE – it’s gonna be a long night for poor Chris.
11. BURNING BONZAI Server Needed – Bonzai server + matches = voila!
12. Part Time Dog Walker Needed! – wait, what’s the full-time dog walker doing?
13. Secret Shoppers Needed In Hollywood Hot Spots ASAP!!!! – oh great. You weren’t supposed to tell anyone!
14. The easiest “SALES JOB” – EVER GONE FISHING WITH DYNAMITE? – uh, “NO”.
15. SUPERINTENDED NEEDED – Superintended left already. She had stuff to take care of.
16. Terramar Walnut Creek Seeks Front of House Manager! – no deal, I can only manage the back of the house.
17. Part-time Quick Books – last time I checked they were books full-time.
18. I Wish I Could Hire Everyone – better start looking for a really big office.
19. Get Paid to Wave and Dance!!!! – This is one job I can do for free!
20. Wanted: Happy Person – would that be “in your face happy”, “perky happy” or just plain happy?
21. NATURAL PET STORE – the fake pet store is one street over from there.
22. We Can’t Afford 8 More Years. Help Elect Democrats in November – talk about a pessimist. They already think that the Democrats will lose again twice more

Read more at: http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funny-craigslist-job-titles-listings/#ixzz2CgJoqQgJ