Hilarious Resume Blunders!
- “Objective: What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”
- “As indicated, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”
- “I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”
- “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
- “References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
- “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore.”
- “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
- “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
- “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
- “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
- “Interests: Gossiping.”
- “Reason for leaving: I thought the world was coming to an end.”
- “Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn’t work under those conditions.”
- “Qualifications: I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
- “Awards: National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
- “Objective: To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”
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