Witty Wednesday

Recruiting Firm Shares The 50 Weirdest Job Titles They've Ever Seen

Every once in awhile, you'll get a business card with such a pretentious job title, you don't even know what the person really does for a living.

And if you're a recruiter, you probably see more fancy job titles than you'd prefer.

Recruiting firm Coburg Banks shares on their blog 50 of the most ridiculous job titles they've ever come across on resumes.

Most of these titles come from marketing applicants, which "perhaps says something about people in marketing," the post says.

We thought these titles were pretty funny:

1. Beverage Dissemination Officer – Bartender
2. Chick Sexer – Someone who determines the sex of chickens
3. Digital Overlord – Website Manager
4. Retail Jedi – Shop Assistant
5. Wizard of Light Bulb Moments – Marketing Director
6. Chief Chatter – Call Centre Manager
7. Animal Colourist – This person dyes animals for movies and marketing campaigns
8. Problem Wrangler – Counselor
9. Twisted Brother – Balloon Artist
10. Digital Dynamo - Digital Marketing Executive
11. Direct Mail Demi-God – Direct Mail Manager
12. Dream Alchemist – Head of Creative
13. Marketing Rockstar – Marketing Executive
14. Light Bender – Someone who is responsible for the high-tech, precision job of making neon lights
15. Space Travel Agent– This is the job of Craig Curran who is an accredited travel agent for Virgin Galactic, the world’s first space tourism business.
16. Associate to the Executive Manager of Marketeer’ing and Conservation efforts –Marketing Assistant
17. Pneumatic device and machine optimizer – Factory Worker
18. Senior Kindle Evangelist’ – In charge of all things Kindle for Amazon
19. Brand Evangelist – Marketing Brand Manager
20. Chief Inspiration Officer – A ‘CIO’ is a company representative whose role is essentially to encourage ‘belief in the company’ and ‘internal evangelism of its values’
21. Part-Time Czar – Czars were Eastern European supreme rulers that haven’t been around since WWII. This person is either an assistant manager or perhaps an emperior of Russia who has been kept in a cryopreserve state since 1917 and is now ready to rejoin the job market.
22. Associate Vice President – One of a number of Vice Presidents
23. Patron Saint of Academic Studying – Unless this person was several hundred years old, I’m doubting whether this person is being totally honest about being a saint.
24. Personalized care assistant – Care Assistant is fine
25. Hair Boiler- Someone who boils animal hair until it curls (for use in a variety of products)
26. Cheese Sprayer – Someone who sprays cheese or butter by hand on popcorn
27. Oyster Floater – Someone who floats oysters in water until they are free of impurities
28. Marketing Rockstar – Simply a Marketing Manager
29. Grand master of underlings – Deputy Manager
30. Creativity analyst – Assistant Marketing Manager
31. Accounting Ninja – Financial Manager (Trying to make numbers sound sexier than they are)
32. Sales Ninja – Sales Executive
33. Conversation Architect – Digital Marketing Manager
34. Director of Fun – Director of Marketing
35. New Media Guru – Digital Marketing Manager
36. Initiative Officer – Planner
37. Social Media Trailblazer – Digital Marketing Executive
38. Corporate Magician – Trade Show Magician
39. Master Handshaker – ?????
40. Communications Ambassador – ?????
41. Happiness Advocate – ?????
42. Under Secretary to the Sub-Committee – ?????
43. Hyphenated-specialist – ??????
44. Second Tier Totalist – ??????
45. Actions and Repercussions Adviser -??????
46. Professionalist – ??????
47. International and world-wide optical and vision-focused tenured professorship –??????
48. Creator of Happiness -??????
49. Change Magician - ?????
50. Chief Biscuit Dunker- ??????

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Fact Friday

150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever

People write the strangest things on their resumes, sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy!

1. “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
2. “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”
3. Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
4. “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
5. Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
6. “Job involved…counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available”
7. “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
8. “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
9. “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
10. “Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”
11. “I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality…”
12. Candidate included a letter from his mother.
13. Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
14. Candidate wrote résumé as a play – Act 1, Act 2, etc.
15. Candidate included naked picture of himself.
16. “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
17. Woman who sent her résumé and cover letter without deleting someone else’s editing, including such comments as “I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here”
18. “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
19. Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
20. “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
21. Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
22. Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
23. A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
24. Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.
25. Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
26. My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
27. The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.
28. Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
29. Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
30. “I am great with the pubic.”
31. A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
32. The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.
33. One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
34. “…sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm…”
35. “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
36. One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.
37. Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
38. I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.
39. a resume… was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.
40. One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
41. A resume… had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it
42. Hobbies: “Having a good time”
43. Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
44. Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators.
45. Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
46. Candidate included family medical history.
47. “nine-page cover letter accompanied by a four-page résumé”
48. “One applicant tried to make an impression by using four different fonts, three ink colors and a variety of highlighting options on her résumé”
49. “Revolved customer problems and inquiries.”
50. “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”
51. “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”
52. “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”
53. “I often use a laptap.”
54. “Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”
55. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”
56. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
57. “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
58. “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
59. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
60. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
61. “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
62. “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
63. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
64. “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
65. “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
66. “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
67. “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
68. “I am loyal to my employer at all costs..Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
69. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
70. Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”
71. Interests: “Gossiping.”
72. Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.”
73. Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
74. Employer: ” Myself; received pay raise for high sales.”
75. Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.”
76. Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.”
77. Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”
78. Experience: “I’m a hard worker, etc.”
79. Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
80. Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
81. Additional skills: “I am a Notary Republic.”
82. Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire’ puts it, ‘Show me the money!’”
83. Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
84. Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”
85. Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”
86. Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
87. Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
88. Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
89. Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
90. Skills: “Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.”
91. Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
92. Education: “I possess a moderate educatin but willing to learn more.”
93. Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
94. Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
95. Salary desired: “Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.”
96. Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”
97. References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
98. Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”
99. Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.”
100. Objective: “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.”
101. Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.”
102. Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
103. Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.”
104. Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”
105. Special skills: “I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
106. Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
107. Experience: “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.”
108. Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”
109. Objective: “What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”
110. Hobbies: “Mushroom hunting.”
111. Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”
112. Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”
113. Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
114. Heading on stationery: “I’d Break Mom’s Heart to Work For You!”
115. “I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”
116. Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”
117. Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.”
118. Strengths: “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.”
119. Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”
120. Work experience: “Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees’ paychecks.”
121. Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible experience.”
122. Resume: “A great management team that has patents with its workers.”
123. Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
124. Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”
125. Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”
126. Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.”
127. Application: “Q: In what local areas do you prefer to work? A: Smoking.”
128. Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would be a blessing to be fired.’”
129. Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando’s proximity to Disney World.”
130. Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”
131. Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.”
132. Qualifications: “I have extensive experience with foreign accents.”
133. “I am fully aware of the king of attention this position requires.”
134. References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
135. “Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant.”
136. Accomplishments: “My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had.”
137. Career: “I have worked with restraints for the past two years.”
138. Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
139. Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”

JobMob Top 10

1. Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.”
2. A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages”
3. Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).”
4. In the section that read “Emergency Contact Number” she wrote “911.”
5. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager’s gift.
6. Languages: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.”
7. “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.”
8. On one of our applications, a girl wrote ” I’m 16, I’m pregnant and I can do anything.” At the same time she turned in her application, her boyfriend handed in his. On his: “Felony for breaking and entering.”
9. “One candidate included clipart on their resume of two cartoons shaking hands.”
10. Application: “On the line that asked what “sex” he was, he wrote “occassionally”.”

To view original article CLICK HERE (yes there are only 149)

Fun Fact Friday

99 Excuses for Missing Work

Everyone needs, or wants, to miss work at some point. But, if you don’t have a real excuse, you’re going to need to make up a good one. Below are some excuses you can use. Some are classic excuses, others are creative, and some are questionable. Pick your favorite and try it out on your boss.

1. When I got up this morning I accidentally took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it.
2. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
3. I threw my back out bowling.
4. My stigmata’s acting up again.
5. I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work.
6. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the grocery store.
7. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Dodgers, huh? So, I won’t be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I’ll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
8. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
9. My psychiatrist me a jaw restraint so I won’t bite things when I am startled.
10. The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
11. I prefer to remain an enigma.
12. The EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
13. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
14. I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.
15. I’ve earned a day off.
16. I’m Playing Golf with a Client.
17. I have a Doctor’s appointment.
18. I have a Dentist appointment.
19. I have cramps.
20. I’m working from home.
21. There’s been a death in the family.
22. I’m too sleepy from working all day yesterday.
23. I have a personal emergency.
24. My fish is sick and I need to take it to the vet.
25. My daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out.
26. I have come down with Spring Fever.
27. I fell off a ladder fixing the roof on my house and I injured by back.
28. I was attacked and need to recover.
29. I was mugged and the thief took my car keys and driver’s license.
30. I have a migraine.
31. My eyes are watering for some reason causing blurry vision.
32. I’m in the hospital.
33. I’m still drunk from last night.
34. I need a mental recovery day.
35. Last night I had a party and I woke up with a strange man in my bed and he won’t leave.
36. My car caught on fire on the way to work.
37. My car ran out of gas on the way to work so I pushed it to a gas station, but I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctor’s.
38. My cat got ran over and I need to take it to the vet.
39. My boyfriend hit me and I’m kind of messed up.
40. I was stepping out of my trailer and I missed the step and landed on the ground injuring my back.
41. My shrink put me on a new depressant yesterday and I’m feeling weird.
42. Had to be rushed to hospital for coffee burns on my lap.
43. The city is paving my street and I can’t get out of my neighborhood.
44. The hazmat crew is here and won’t let me out of the house.
45. My wife is too sick to get out of bed and I have to stay home to take care of her.
46. My waterbed busted and my room is flooded.
47. My daughter ran away, so I should stay home to see if she comes back.
48. I won’t be in today….I’m calling in dead.
49. My home is flooded and I’m currently standing on my dresser in my second story bedroom.
50. I do not feel up to par today.
51. I tried to dye my hair blonde, but it came out blue.
52. I spent my paycheck on lottery tickets, and I’m out of gas until payday.
53. I got the end of a Q-tip stuck in my ear and have to go to the doctor’s to get it out.
54. My horse overate and needs to be walked so he doesn’t lay down and die.
55. I have the flu.
56. A SWAT team closed off a part of a street after a disgruntled ex-employee shot several people.
57. My agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house) is kicking in and I am afraid to come in today.
58. The springs on my garage door broke and I can’t get my car out cause the door won’t open.
59. My spiritual guide said something bad will happen to me if I leave my house today.
60. My spiritual guide said there will be a fire at my work today so I’m staying home.
61. If I tell you why I can’t come in, I’d have to kill you.
62. You’re on a need to basis, but you don’t need to know.
63. You can’t handle the truth.
64. My dog is having puppies and I need to help her.
65. My cat is having kittens and I need to help her.
66. Someone smashed in my windows this morning with a large blunt object.
67. I sprained my wrist cooking breakfast in the microwave.
68. I slipped in the shower and injured my knee. I can’t walk on it at all.
69. I cut my self shaving and it hurts to walk.
70. I locked myself in the bathroom.
71. I locked my keys in my car.
72. I locked myself out of the house.
73. My dog died.
74. My street is flooded and I can’t drive out.
75. Someone dumped a truck-load of sand in front of my driveway and I can’t get out.
76. My cat was alarmed by my sleep-talking and jumped off the bed, knocked my alarm off the dresser, of which the batteries fell out; so I over slept.
77. I can’t find any clothes to wear.
78. My washing machine broke and I don’t have any clean clothes.
79. My water has been turned off.
80. I didn’t pay my electricity bill so I can’t see to get ready.
81. I am sick with the Lack. Lack of ambition.
82. Last night a friend I haven’t seen in a long time came over and gave me a bear hug and broke one of my ribs.
83. I was up all weekend with this new girl I met and I didn’t get any sleep…if you know what I mean.
84. My asthma is really bad.
85. I tried lifting my daughter out of her crib and twisted my back.
86. On my way to work today, my tooth cracked. I’ll be going to the dentist.
87. The fan belt broke on my van.
88. The brakes went out on my car.
89. My car has a flat tire.
90. The hot water tap in my shower broke.
91. I’m stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper.
92. During the night the power must have gone off because when I woke up my alarm clock time was flashing.
93. My cat is lonely and stressed out and if I don’t spend quality time with him, he will keep peeing on the furniture.
94. My wife said she is going to conceive today, and I want to be there when it happens.
95. My chain came off my bicycle.
96. I came down with a bad case of something or other.
97. My cat hid my car keys because she gets lonesome when I’m gone.
98. I was taking a shower and I dropped the soap, as I reached down to pick it up, I slipped and fell causing me to bust my lip, twist my ankle, strain my back, stub my finger, and get soap in my eyes.
99. The babysitter didn’t show up today so I have to watch my kids.

To view original article CLICK HERE

Fun Fact Friday

Top 10 Most Annoying Coworker Types & How to Deal with Them

(for entertainment only)

Are your coworkers driving you crazy? You are not alone! A recent study showed that almost 40% of workers feel out of place in the office. We have assembled a list of the most annoying coworker types. Anyone sounds familiar?

10. The Obnoxious One

An obnoxious coworker repeatedly bangs on the table for no apparent reason, cracks knuckles and whistles eight hours a day. All this is between thunderous phone conversations. These coworkers have no secrets. They prefer discussing them with a door open and over a speakerphone with the whole office listening. By now you’ve learnt about their bonuses, medical problems, and heard plenty of baby talk with the spouse.

How to deal with them: Hum show tunes every time they get on the phone while hanging around their office and waiting for them to finish the phone call. Better yet, give them a portable phone booth.

9. The Sloppy Eater

Don’t you love that constant sound of chewing coming out of your coworker’s mouth? How about that smell of rotten food items coming out of their garbage bin? Do you constantly get to use a dirty microwave and navigate your way through spilled coffee, sugar and dirty plates? Of course, the winner is the month-old leftovers in the fridge sporting a thick layer of fur. Yummy!

How to deal with them: Bring a smelly sandwich like tuna for lunch and forget to put it in the fridge for about three days. Don’t forget to label it with the annoying coworker’s name. Keep doing until they start going out for lunch.

8. The Prankster

The practical joker is next on the annoyance list. This is the wise one who toilet papers your desk, superglues your mug the mouse pad, unplugs your monitor and keyboard and send out fake memos about layoffs. This coworker does not mind humiliating his or her self and others and can’t understand why you wouldn’t want a gorilla stripper in the boardroom on your birthday.

How to deal with them: Play the classic desktop wallpaper prank on them. Harmless but very entertaining!

7. The Weirdo

This is the guy in the cubicle next to you wearing 3-D glasses with the lenses removed. His desk is full of pictures of himself and Star Trek characters. You have probably overheard him calling his mom to tell her that he has been a good boy today. He regularly saves chewing gum on the end of a ruler and loves picking his nose (do you know he’s been secretly stashing those boogers under the desk?). He spends his day at work browsing porn on the Web and drinking beet juice. Congratulations, you are working next to an office weirdo!

How to deal with them: It is better to be neither friend nor foe with them. Avoid eye contact. Gift ideas include finger drum kit, solar-powered flash lights and family DNA testing.

6. The Back-Stabbing Nose-Browner

You know the type: they are taking on all projects, sucking up left and right, always nodding to everything the boss says. This type does everything possible to try to make the boss like them (especially at the expense of others). They are an office parasite, copying other’s ideas as their own and taking credit for someone else’s work as long as it gets them an extra brownie-point from the boss.

How to deal with them: pretend to ask their advice and make them feel important – they may actually help you to deal with the boss. Just keep in mind that everything you ever say to them will be reported to the boss immediately.

5. The Stinky

Some people in the office are identified by their offensive smell. You can smell them from another part of the office and you can’t hide from it. The origin of smell doesn’t really matter: either sitting next to someone who didn’t shower or someone who smells like an ashtray. Enough said.

Solution: For offensive smells give them a gift of perfume or cologne. Better yet, leave a bar of soap on their desk every day. If that doesn’t work – have everyone chip in for an air purifier.

4. The Drama Queen

Every office has one: “Oh My God! We are all going to get fired!”, “I don’t feel like working”, “This is too hard, I can’t do it!” Sounds familiar? Constant negativity and complaining at work becomes a real drag after a while. It is not that they don’t like their job it is just a nasty habit of seeing only the worst around them. They have a gift for turning a small problem into major crisis. A great asset to any team for morale support!

How to deal with them: avoid telling them bad news. In fact, avoid telling them any news. If do they get fired eventually, call in sick (you don’t want to be around when that happens).

3. The Broken Clock

They are always late to work. They skip important meetings, take long lunches, miss deadlines, leave work early and yet they never get called out on it! They stick at time management but at the same time they manage to get everyone else to help them with their deadlines, which they keep missing. Oh, and the excuses: traffic, sick pets, and dying grandmothers, problems in kid’s school, meteors hitting the house tend to be the most popular ones.

Solution: give them a “Will Return” clock for their desk and make sure you don’t get assigned any joint projects or you will end up doing all the work for them to meet the deadlines.

2. The Gossiper

They gossip about all the affairs in the office regardless of whether true or not. They love to dish the dirt as their view of everyone in the office is usually skewed and negative. Not only they love the rumors, they live on them. You are always wondering when they will make you topic of the day.

Solution: Abruptly quit talking every time they enter the room.

1. The Idiot Boss

Bosses are always right. At least, they think they are! In any case, don’t mess with the boss. It is dangerous and may get you fired.

Solution: Seriously, if you have a problem with your boss, read our post on how to deal with an idiot boss - it may really help.

To view original article CLICK HERE

Fun Fact Friday

To do well in job interview, don't sniff your armpits -- or flush the toilet

 

Hear the one about the job candidate who brushed her hair during an interview? Or the man who sniffed his armpits on the way into the interview room?
They may sound like jokes, but these are two of the top 10 gaffes to feature in an annual survey of the most outrageous interview mistakes by candidates compiled by online job site CareerBuilder.com.
The list, based on a survey of 3,061 U.S. hiring managers and human resources professionals by research company Harris Interactive, found the top 10 most outrageous mistakes were:

- Candidate answered cellphone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.

- Candidate told the interviewer he wouldn't be able to stay with the job long because he thought he might get an inheritance if his uncle died -- and his uncle wasn't "looking too good."

- Candidate asked the interviewer for a ride home after the interview.

- Candidate smelled his armpits on the way to the interview room.

- Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified."

- Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.

- When an applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.

- A candidate for an accounting position said she was a "people person" not a "numbers person."

- Candidate flushed the toilet while talking to interviewer during phone interview.

- Candidate took out a hair brush and brushed her hair.

As well as asking about the most unusual blunders, employers were asked about the most common and detrimental mistakes candidates made during an interview.
More than half -- 51 per cent -- said dressing inappropriately was the biggest mistake.
Talking negatively about a current or previous employer came in second at 49 per cent and third on the list at 48 per cent was appearing disinterested.
Other mistakes included appearing arrogant, not providing specific answers and not asking good questions.
"If a candidate is overly negative, plays the blame game, is easily frazzled or doesn't come prepared, it usually sends up a red flag for employers, " said Career Builder.com spokeswoman Rosemary Haefner.

To view original article CLICK HERE

Fun Fact Friday

43 weird things said in job interviews

"I'm not wanted in this state."
"How many young women work here?"
"I didn't steal it; I just borrowed it."
"You touch somebody and they call it sexual harassment!"
"I've never heard such a stupid question."

Believe it or not, the above statements weren't overhead in bars or random conversations -- they were said in job interviews.
Maybe you were nervous, you thought the employer would appreciate your honesty, or maybe you just have no boundaries. Whatever the reason, you can be certain that you shouldn't tell an interviewer that it's probably best if they don't do a background check on you. (And yes, the hiring manager remembered you said that.)
We asked hiring managers to share the craziest things they've heard from applicants in an interview. Some are laugh-out-loud hysterical, others are jaw dropping -- the majority are both. To be sure, they will relieve anyone who has ever said something unfortunate at a job interview -- and simply amuse the rest of you.
Hiring managers shared these 43 memorable interview responses:

Why did you leave your last job?
"I have a problem with authority." - Carrie Rocha, COO of HousingLink

Tell us about a problem you had with a co-worker and how you resolved it
"The resolution was we were both fired."- Jason Shindler, CEO, Curvine Web Solutions

What kind of computer software have you used?
"Computers? Are those the black boxes that sit on the floor next to the desks? My boss has one of those. He uses it. I don't have one. He just gives me my schedule and I follow it." - Greg Szymanski, director of human resources, Geonerco Management, Inc

What are your hobbies and interests?
"[He said] 'Well, as you can see, I'm a young, virile man and I'm single -- if you ladies know what I'm saying.' Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, 'I particularly like blondes.'" - Petri R.J. Darby, president, darbyDarnit Public Relations

Why should we hire you?
"I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time." - Bill McGowan, founder, Clarity Media Group

Do you have any questions?
"If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?" - Megan Garnett, Articulate Leadership Team, Articulate Communications Inc.
"What do you want me to do if I cannot walk to work if it's raining? Can you pick me up?" - Christine Pechstein, career coach
"I was a Chamber of Commerce Executive once hiring a secretary. [The candidate asked] 'What does a Chamber of Commerce do?'" - Mary Kurek, Mary Kurek, Inc. Visibility Consulting
"Can we wrap this up fairly quickly? I have someplace I have to go." - Bruce Campbell, vice president of marketing, Clare Computer Solutions
"What is your company's policy on Monday absences?" - Campbell
"If this doesn't work out can I call you to go out sometime?" - Christine Bolzan, founder of Graduate Career Coaching
"How big do the bonuses really get once you make associate? I hear it's some serious cash." - Bolzan
"[The candidate asked,] 'Can my dad call you to talk about the job and the training program? He is really upset I'm not going to medical school and wants someone to explain the Wall Street path to him.' The dad did call. Then that dad's friends called and I ended up doing a conference call with a group of concerned parents ... long story." - Bolzan
"If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?" - Bolzan
"When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?" - Bolzan
"Can I get a tour of the breast pumping room? I heard you have a great one here and while I don't plan on having children for at least 10 or 12 years, I will definitely breast feed and would want to use that room."- Bolzan
"So, how much do they pay you for doing these interviews?" -- Jodi R.R. Smith, Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting

Why are you leaving your current job?
"Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building." - Abbe Mortimore, Human Resources Manager, True Textiles, Inc.
"I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes." - Smith

Why are you looking for a job?
"Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job." - Pechstein
"My parents told me I need to get a job so that is why I'm here." - McGowan

Why do you want to work for us?
"Just for the benefits." - Jennifer Juergens, JJ Communications
"My old boss didn't like me, so one day, I just left and never came back. And here I am!" - Matt Cowall, communications manager, Appia Communications
"I saw the job posted on Twitter and thought, why not?" - Rebecca Gertsmark Oren, Communications Director at The Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity

What are your assets? (as in strengths)
"Well, I do own a bike." - Pam Venné, principal, The Venné Group

What are your weaknesses?
"I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won't get mad at you." - Pechstein
"I had a job candidate tell me that she often oversleeps and has trouble getting out of bed in the morning." - Linda Yaffe, certified executive coach
"I am an alcoholic and do not deserve this job." - Deb Bailey, owner, Power Women Magazine & Radio Show
"I'm really not a big learner. You know ... some people love learning and are always picking up new things, but that's just not me. I'd much rather work at a place where the job is pretty stagnant and doesn't change a lot." -- Michaele Charles, Voice Communications

When have you demonstrated leadership skills?
"Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show; it takes a lot to do that." - Rachel Croce

Is there anything else I should know about you?
"You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends." - Venne

When can you start?
"I need to check with my mom on that one." - Bolzan

Use three adjectives to describe yourself
"I hate questions like this." - Katrina Meistering, manager of outreach, National Fatherhood Initiative

Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it
"I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement." - Meistering

Have you submitted your two weeks' notice to your current employer?
"What is two weeks' notice? I've never quit a job before, I've always been fired." - Meistering

Random responses
"One guy [said] 'it would probably be best' if I didn't run a background check on him. Of course, I did, and learned all about his long, sordid past of law-breaking. Our client actually offered him a job as a staff accountant, but quickly retracted the offer when I had to tell them all about his recent arrest for a meth lab in his basement." - Charles
"[A] guy said he did not have a mailing address, as he was living in a gypsy camp at the airport." -- Sandra L. Flippo, SPHR
"I went into the lobby to pick up a candidate. As he stood up, his trousers fell to the floor! [He said] 'Oh, my gosh -- they told me I needed a suit for the interview. I've got no money -- so I borrowed this thing. It's too big!'" - Beth Ross, executive and career coach
"Wow -- I'm not used to wearing dress shoes! My feet are killing me. Can I show you these bloody blisters?" - Bolzan
"May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night." - Smith
(During a telephone call to schedule the interview) "Can we meet next month? I am currently incarcerated."- Smith

"[A candidate] was asked whether he could advocate impartially on behalf of the various universities he would be representing since he had attended one of them. He responded, 'Well, I don't like to poop where I eat, but I thought my education sucked, so I certainly wouldn't put that school above the others.'" - Darby

To view original article CLICK HERE

Fun Fact Friday

50 Funniest Short Job Descriptions Ever

Over on the Dilbert Blog, Scott Adams gave his readers an assignment: “describe your own job in one sentence, preferably in a humorously derogatory way.” Here are the best replies from among the hundreds, with the top 10 at the end.

My Job Is To…

1. Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated: Student
2. Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant
3. Explain big words to sales people and then cower before customers while trying to convince them that the sales people really didn’t say what the customers understood: Customer Solutions Engineer
4. Learn laws created ages ago so that I can tell engineers why I’m smarter than they are while complaining how it’s a travesty that they get paid more: Physics major
5. Show you innovative ways to burn money in the spirit of patriotism: Fireworks Stand Manager
6. Help people lie consistently to their bosses: Business Intelligence Consultant
7. Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher
8. Pass poisonous gas on command: Research Assistant in solid state ammonia storage
9. Make people who are already filthy rich somewhat richer by duping poor people into buying stuff they don’t need: Corporate Software Engineer
10. Find as many synonyms for “explosion” as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
11. Supervise the guys and gals who try to protect the good people from the bad, only to be hated by the good people AND the bad: Police Sergeant
12. Make corporate propaganda feel like folksy truthisms: TV Ad Director
13. Manage waste recycling, promotion & sales: Antiques Dealer
14. Arrive after the battle and bayonet all the wounded: Auditor
15. Sell gas: Energy and Telecom Business Analyst
16. Tell forty year-old men it’s okay to behave like fourteen year-old school girls: Printing Press Production Coordinator
17. Provide arcane information on a need-to-know basis: Chief Accountant
18. Shepherd clients through the process of setting their products on fire: Consumer Products Tester
19. Manage urban renewal and pest control: B-52 Bomber pilot
20. Persuade kids that it’s really fun being wet, cold and scared out of their minds: Sailing Instructor
21. Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans: Civil Engineer, Transportation Design
22. Teach kids to be evil…or so they say: Video Game Creator
23. Ensure that stupid people stay in the gene pool: Lifeguard
24. Spend most of the day looking out the window: Pilot
25. Wear a tuxedo and smash metal plates into each other: Musician
26. Go to strange people’s houses and take their money: Pizza Delivery Boy
27. Sell gluttony: Cinema Concession Stand Attendant
28. Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
29. Take pictures of the unlucky and the stupid: X-ray Technician
30. Profit from the misfortunes of others: Cops and Courts Reporter
31. Take a simple two-way promise and turn it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill: Lawyer
32. Bring a little rain into the lives of flood victims: Government Debt Collector
33. Have people spend far more than they estimated: Building Inspector
34. Make sure nothing ever happens: IT Security
35. Move things from one tube to another: Microbiologist
36. Misinterpret the universe: Astronomer
37. Be a human napkin: Stay-at-home mom of three
38. Run away and call the police: Security Guard
39. Copy and paste the Internet: Student

The Top 10

1. Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer (Scott Adams’ favorite)
2. Stand on a field and get yelled at for hours: Baseball Umpire
3. Talk in other people’s sleep: College Professor
4. Call people who know what they’re doing and ask them what they’re doing: Incident Manager
5. Show people how beautiful the Earth would be without them: Mountain Landscape Photographer/Climber
6. Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester
7. Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break: IT Director
8. Clean up an animal that makes more money then me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
9. Write words that no one wants to read: Technical Writer
10. Make food that is as healthy before it goes in your body as when it comes back out: Fast Food Employee

To view original article CLICK HERE

Fun Fact Friday

Job Search Blunders, Bloopers and Bungles

A client recently asked me to read over her resume for her and about half way down the page I spotted a typo. She was of course aghast and commented that it must have been there for six months! Whenever you write a resume or cover letter triple check it, then read it backwards from the bottom of the page to the top.
This can help you from making one of the classic mistakes that HR professionals and hiring managers see all the time during the recruiting process. And they love to share their favourites:

Resumes Blunders:
◦ Instrumental in ruining an entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.
(It’s amazing what one letter can do to a word? Spell checking wouldn’t catch this. Ask someone objective to read your documents. Also, this accomplishment is missing the action step, in other words, how did you achieve the result.)
◦ I’m a rabid typist.
(Not only is this a typo, but you don’t need to use ‘I’ in a resume; ‘I’ is assumed.)
◦ Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
(Kind of a fun play on words actually)
◦ Work experience: Dealing with customers’ conflicts that arouse.
(What about the ones that weren’t so stimulating?)
◦ Education: College, August 1880- May 1984.
(How old are you? Plus, you needn’t mention the months you attended school or the start year, the graduation year is sufficient)
◦ Under personal interests: Donating blood, 14 gallons so far.
(This sounds a little creepy, stick to reading, gardening, travel and volunteer work.)
◦ I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
(I wonder how the losers made out)
◦ Here are my qualifications to overlook.
(Consider it done)
◦ Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I’m a class act and don’t come cheap.
(The qualities in the first sentence are not congruent with one another – passion and acting on short notice should be two separate points ; I won’t dignify the second sentence with a comment.)

Cover Letter Bloopers◦ I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.
(Mention your availability in the interview, not the cover letter. Oh, and look up the word ‘loyal’ in the dictionary.)
◦ I intentionally omitted my salary history. I’ve made money and lost money. I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. I prefer being rich.
(When addressing the salary issue in a cover letter, mention your salary is negotiable or that you expect the industry standard. If you feel you have to mention a figure, give a range and mention if it includes benefits in or not.)
◦ Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping.’ I have never quit a job.
(That’s good news, phew! Getting fired is sooo much better. It is only necessary to list jobs that go back 10-15 years maximum.)
◦ While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed therefore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility.
(If you wouldn’t – or couldn’t possibly – say this out loud, don’t write it on paper.)

Interview Bungles: Reasons for leaving the last job
◦ Responsibility makes me nervous.
(You might not want to mention that as a weakness either.)
◦ They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.
(That’s inhumane! We’ll be happy to support your sleeping in, by not hiring you. If it is flex time that you need or time in lieu, present what you want, not what you don’t want.)
◦ I’ve been working for my mom and she decided to leave the company. (So, you left too? Would we also be obliged to hire your mom to get you to work here?)
◦ They didn’t allow me to surf the web as often as I’d like to. They weren’t very nice about it either.
(A company computer is a tool in which to execute ones’ work, it is not a personal toy. You have to work within the policies of your employer – or go someplace else.)
◦ The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
(Do not mention anything negative about a previous employer, whether or not you think they were in the wrong. Plus when you’re the ’scapegoat’ for four jobs in a row, it suggests a pattern where you might actually be the problem.)

The job search process puts you out there in front of people with the written word, voice mail or face to face in an interview. You have lots of chances to slip up along the way, so take your time, triple check your work, think before you answer questions and get other peoples’ help reviewing your work as often as you can.

To view original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

Hilarious Interview Bloopers!

• "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

• "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

• "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

• " A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

• "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

• "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

• "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

• One candidate "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

• "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

• "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me.  Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

• "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

• "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

• "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

• "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk.   When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number."

• "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

Don't answer any questions like these job candidates did! 

Q. What five or six adjectives best describe you?A. Really, really, really, really, really cool.


Q. Why should I hire you?A. Because they say you should always hire people who are better than you.

Q. What do you remember about your life as a child?A. The courts promised to suppress all that after I turned 18. Why do you want to know?

Q. Did your grade-point average reflect your work ability?
A. Absolutely. Maximum results for minimum effort has always been my goal.

Q. What can you tell me about your creative ability?A. I think my answers to most of your questions are pretty good indicators.

Q. Tell me about you as a team player?A. Teamwork is OK, as long as other people don't get in the way.

Q. How do you define a "problem person"?A. Anyone who disagrees with me.

Q. Do you consider yourself to be a smart person?A. No. But I'm the only person in the world with that opinion.

Q. Describe your management style.
A. Don't do anything you can make someone else do for you.

Q. What is your greatest weakness?A. Three-foot putts for par.

Q. How do you handle change?
A. I usually put it in a jar in my sock drawer.

Q. Can you supervise people?
A. Sure. Tell people what to do, then kick their butts if they don't do it.

Q. How do you go about setting an example?A. I never let anyone catch me sleeping in my office.

Q. Are you a good communicator?A. Huh?


To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

Hilarious Resume Blunders!

• “Objective: What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”
• “As indicated, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”
• “I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”
• “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
• “References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
• “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore.”
• “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
• “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
• “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
• “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
• “Interests: Gossiping.”
• “Reason for leaving: I thought the world was coming to an end.”
• “Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn’t work under those conditions.”
• “Qualifications: I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
• “Awards: National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
• “Objective: To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

Unusual Interview Mistakes

Don't make the mistakes these candidates did!

• Candidate provided a detailed listing of how previous employer made them mad.
• Candidate constantly bad mouthed spouse.
• Candidate threw his beer can in the outside trashcan before coming into the reception office.
• Candidate hugged hiring manager at the end of the interview.
• Candidate ate all the candy from the candy bowl while trying to answer questions.
• Candidate blew her nose and lined up the used tissues on the table in front of her.
• Candidate talked about how an affair cost him a previous job.
• Candidate had a friend come in and ask “HOW MUCH LONGER?”
• Candidate brought a copy of their college diploma that had obviously been white-outed and their name added.

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

How You Shouldn't Apply For A Job!

Here's a quick list of actual examples of what NOT to put on your resume.

• Candidate put God down as a reference (no phone number).

• Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.

• Candidate put a picture of her cat on top of her resume.

• Candidate claimed to be a direct descendant of the Vikings.

• Candidate’s email address had “loves beer” in it.

• Candidate included family medical history.

• Candidate sent a 24-page resume for a 5-year career.

• Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”

• Candidate listed “Master of Time and Universe” under his experience.

• Candidate specifically pointed out that he was not a gypsy.

• Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators.

• Candidate’s condition for accepting the position was being allowed to bring his pet monkey to the workplace.

• Candidate pointed out, "I'll have your job in five years."

• Candidate sent a video trying to hypnotize the HR manager into hiring him.

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

How NOT to Get Hired: Don't Make the Mistakes These Candidates Did!

• “One candidate sang all of her responses to interview questions.”

• “One prospect told me all of the reasons he shouldn’t be hired.”

• “After being complimented on his choice of college and the GPA he achieved, the candidate replied, ‘I’m glad that got your attention. I didn’t really go there.’”

• “The candidate said she would really prefer a job offer from our competitor

• “When asked why she was leaving her current job, the applicant said, ‘My manager is a jerk. All managers are jerks.’”

• “A job applicant came in for an interview with a cockatoo on his shoulder.”

• “When asked by the hiring manager if he had any questions for him, the candidate replied by telling a knock-knock joke.”

• “One individual said we had nice benefits, which was good because he was going to need to take a lot of leave in the next year.”

• “An individual applied for a customer service job, and when asked what he might not like about the job, he said, ‘dealing with people.’”

• “The candidate sent his sister to interview in his place.”

• “I interviewed someone who had a jawbreaker in her mouth during the entire interview.”

• “A person came to the interview in pajamas with slippers.”

• “The applicant told me he really was not interested in the position, but he liked that we allowed for a lot of time off."

• “One candidate handcuffed himself to the desk during the interview.”

• “The candidate arrived in a cat suit.”

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

Interview Mistakes NOT to make

While there are many ways to ace your next interview, there are also various ways to mess it up. Keep these 7 tips in mind before your next interview:

1. Don't bring anything

Sometimes they ask for it, but most of the time they do not. Employers expect you to know what to bring to an interview. Come prepared! The best to bring to an interview is a copy of your resume, your portfolio, a pen, and paper.

2. Wear what you want

Jeans and t-shirt?Sounds good! ...Not quite. While you should wear something comfortable, what you wear tells the interviewer you respect the company. Dress slightly nicer than one would usually dress when working in the position.

3. Arrive fashionably late

You know the time it takes to get from your house to the company, so why leave earlier? Even if you're on-time, you're late. Try to arrive at least five to ten minutes before your interview - this tells the employer you are a punctual.

4. Nix the research

While the interview is about you, it's also about how you fit in the company. Do some research about the company, its products or services, competition, target customers and the interview process.

5. Wing it

Even the most solid folks fall victim to butterflies, so you want to be as prepared. Practice interviewing in front of the mirror or with a friend. Practicing really does help!

6. Don't offer anything extra to the conversation

When asked a yes-or-no question, open the answer up with an example. Connecting conversation topics logically with examples that demonstrate your understanding of the position helps the interviewer see the entire package you offer.

7. Ditch the thank you note

In addition to an e-mail follow-up, send a hand-written thank you note addressed to the interviewer who met with you. Thank them for their time! It will also keep you top of mind for the employer.

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

Avoid these 5 mistakes to make sure the internet serves you for good when building up your career.

• Spreading yourself too thin. Although an active online presence can be helpful, don't try to be involved in everything everywhere. Employers will be frustrated when they find nothing but unimportant, outdated, or incomplete profiles. Focus on a few sites keep them updated often.

• Venting, inappropriate comments, and questionable photos. In a survey 79% of employers and job recruiters reported reviewing online information before hiring. 70% of these employers rejected applicants because of what they found. Consider that your boss or potential boss might read what you post online before putting it up.

• Adding anyone and everyone as a contact. Quality beats quantity when it comes to who you associate with online. What if a potential employers were to reach out to one of your contacts to inquire about you? Can you trust everyone on your list to give a positive and helpful answer?

• Failing to network. Why bother building an online presence if you’re not going to use it? If you’re in the hunt for a new job let people know! Many high paying jobs are never posted but are filled through word of mouth or referrals.

• Doing too much online. When it comes to building relationships and finding a job don’t neglect the real world. You don't want to miss out!
  

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

7 strategies that can impress recruiters with your resume:

1. Be concise
Don’t use 10 words when 3 will do and don’t fill your resume big words to sound impressive. Recruiters want to know the facts about you. Use simple and direct language in your resume.

2. Drop the cliches
If you have seen words frequently on other resumes do not assume those same words belong on yours. Recruiters have heard of ‘team players’ who ‘think outside the box’ more than they can count.

3. Stick to the facts
Your resume should cover all the key facts a recruiter needs to know. This could include: how many people a manager supervised, how many users an IT person supported or what budgets an executive controlled. All these facts must be on your resume and easy to see.

4. Show a little personality
Just because you have to stick to the facts, doesn't mean you can't show a little personality in your resume. You can present facts in fresh and interesting language that reflects who you are. That’s the best way to stand out from the crowd.

5. Write a profile that summarizes the important facts
You can summarize 3 of your best accomplishments such as listing the high-profile companies you’ve worked for. Select whatever facts are most impressive about you and use the resume profile to highlight those.

6. Focus on Your Impact
It's always good to tell a story of how you made an impact in your jobs. If your resume can show how you can make a difference you can score the interview. That’s the kind of information that makes a recruiter want to meet you.

7. Give them proof
Have you won awards for your work? If so, highlight them right up front. Have you earned several promotions? Say so in the introduction. Proof like these will look great on your resume.

To view the original article CLICK HERE

Fun Facts Friday

Nosy? Here are some jobs that are for you!

Being nosy isn’t generally considered a positive attribute in a job candidate but some jobs require an inquisitive personality. These jobs are some possibilities for you!

1) Gossip Columnist: For those who can rattle off Brad Pitt’s dating history since he was born, you may find career bliss as a Gossip Columnist. There aren’t many ready-made openings for gossip columnists, so this job is suited to people with ambition and entrepreneurial drive.

2) Private Investigator: What could be better than being paid to find the dirt others want to keep hidden? Due to heightening security demands, employment of private detectives and investigators is expected to grow 22 percent during the 2008-18 decade—much faster than average.

3) Market Researcher: Market Researchers scrutinize the way people behave. More specifically, they figure out how and why certain types of people buy certain types of products. The mathematically minded will enjoy this position. The job revolves around analyzing raw data in order to help companies develop, enhance, and market their goods and services. It’s also unlikely to be outsourced any time soon.

4) Customs Patrol Officer: The granddaddy of all nosy jobs, Customs Patrol Officers are required to ask lots and lots of questions, all in the name of protecting the nation’s borders. While monitoring the international comings and goings of ships, planes, cars and foot traffic, they get to peak into people’s trunks, verify identification, and occasionally testify in court proceedings.

5) Digital Photographer: Why does this job makes this list? Simple: Paparazzi.

6) Personnel Coordinator: Personnel Coordinators deal with two things: paperwork and people. Whether it’s making sure employees have dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s on the required documents that keep a company out of trouble (think liability release forms), overseeing the hiring process of a new employee, or investigating employee efficiency, Personnel Coordinators handle a lot of confidential information.


To view the original article CLICK HERE