Some difficult bosses are completely toxic, while others just
have very annoying habits. And sometimes an employee and a boss are just a bad
mix. If you’re not happy with your manager, you need to determine if the
problem lies with you, your boss, or the combination of your personalities.
The key is to look for patterns.
Do you have more problems with your boss than your colleagues do? If so, maybe
this manager is just a bad match for your work style. But if you’ve often had
trouble with managers, you may have some authority issues. However, if everyone finds this person challenging, then you probably
have a difficult boss.
Five difficult bosses are
described below: the Micromanager,
Procrastinator, Idiot, Dictator, & Abuser. Each
may appear in a mild form or a more toxic version. The milder the problem, the
more likely the suggested strategies are to work.
§ The Micromanager
Best case: The micromanager is
in a new position and having trouble letting go of the job he just left. As
managers get more comfortable in a new role, their focus usually shifts from
their previous work to current responsibilities.
Worst case: Scenario 1: The
micromanager is a highly anxious person (even if she doesn’t appear so on the
surface) who fears giving up control and therefore wants to be involved in every
detail of your work. Scenario 2: The manager is not happy with your performance
and feels the need to closely manage you, but not others.
Possible
strategies: The micromanager is
afraid of losing control, so you need to make him comfortable with your
decisions and actions. Provide your manager with information before you are
asked, especially about issues that you know are important to him. Try to
anticipate and discuss possible concerns about projects or activities. Reach
agreement about which decisions you can make independently and which should
involve your manager.
What you should never
do: Never withhold
information from a micromanager. She will just become suspicious about your
intentions and monitor you even more closely.
§ The Procrastinator
Best case: The self-aware
procrastinator is simply not very organized and recognizes it. These managers
are usually open to conversations about how to get things done more
quickly.
Worst case: The procrastinator
is terrified of making the wrong decision. As a result, no decision will be
made until half the people on earth have been consulted or voluminous amounts of
information have been analyzed.
Possible strategies: Since you know
decisions will take a long time, factor that into the timeline for any project.
If your boss likes a lot of input, consult his favorite sources (human or
informational) in advance and summarize the results before asking for a
decision. With major projects or critical decisions, don’t ask for complete
approval up front. Get your boss’s okay on the initial action steps, then go
back for subsequent approvals as needed.
What you should never
do: Never wait until
the last minute for an important decision, then pressure your boss to decide
immediately. You may think that this will force your manager to act quickly,
but it won’t.
§
The Idiot
Best case: The idiot is in a
new field or industry, needs to learn more about an unfamiliar environment, and
is open to information, ideas, and suggestions.
Worst case: The idiot doesn’t
know that she is an idiot. She makes hasty decisions without the necessary
knowledge or information.
Possible
strategies: If your manager is
approachable, offer information in a helpful way. Do not be condescending.
And be sure to show respect for the knowledge or experience that your manager
does have. When decisions need to be made, suggest several good options for
consideration. In a non-judgmental way, point out how ill-advised choices might
adversely affect important work results.
What you should never do: Don’t ever try to
demonstrate your superior knowledge. Doing so could be hazardous to your
career.
§ The Dictator
Best case: The dictator
communicates in a direct, authoritative style, but is actually open to input.
Worst case: The dictator
genuinely believes that he has all the answers and expects everything to be done
his way.
Possible
strategies: Acknowledge the
value of your manager’s ideas and approaches. Don’t present your own opinions
in a confrontational manner. Instead, ask your manager if she is open to
hearing a suggestion or considering some different options. When employees take
a very direct approach, these managers often view it as the beginning of an
argument, so try using questions to keep your manager from getting defensive.
Start your sentences with “do you think we might” or “could we
consider” instead of “we should” or “we have to”.
What you should never
do: Never tell
dictatorial managers that they “can’t” do something. That makes them very
angry.
§ The Abuser
Best case: The abuser
occasionally gets upset and yells, but then calms down, talks rationally, and
may even apologize.
Worst case: The abuser is a
toxic person who enjoys verbally abusing others. Or even worse, the
mistreatment rises to the level of physical threat or sexual harassment.
Possible strategies: With mild abusers,
avoid the natural “fight or flight” reaction and remain in a calm, rational
mode. People feel stupid being angry by themselves, so the manager will usually
calm down and may be willing to engage in a discussion. For truly abusive
bosses, however, there is no good strategy. If the stress becomes too great,
polish up your resume and look for a saner place to work.
What you should never
do: Never stay in a job
where you are verbally abused, physically touched in any harmful way, or
sexually harassed. No paycheck is worth that kind of treatment.
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