Mentoring Monday

"A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could." - Unknown

Building Trust-Based Mentoring Relationships

Everyone enters mentoring relationships with varying degrees of trust in their partners. Some people trust immediately and openly, some need for trust to be earned, and some fall in the middle of the spectrum. These differences often stem from personal experiences and background.

In general, trust provides the ability to risk while relying on the experience, understanding, and guidance of another. In a mentoring relationship, you have to trust your partner in order to effectively learn, take advice, and put that advice into action in your life. If you do not view your partner as a trustworthy source of information and advice, then little progress will be made in the relationship.

A mentoring relationship rooted in trust can be a powerful and transformational experience. A positive mentoring relationship forms when each party is willing to view their partners as reliable sources of information, knowledge, and support. This makes gaining your partners’ trust, and giving them your trust in return,a critical component of any mentoring engagement. Mutual respect, admiration, appreciation, and reliance often occur as a result and can lead to swift and meaningful sharing.

We will explore three main components to build trust-based mentoring relationships: competence, integrity, and caring.


Competence
It is safe to say that most mentoring relationships revolve around competence. One party has something they want to learn, and they find partners who can help them gain the knowledge that they need. The competence of these advisors centers around the degree of proficiency they are able to demonstrate in their areas of presumed expertise. Trust emanates from those who are good at what they do and who are able to relate that experience to others. In a mentoring relationship competence is demonstrated through the ability to share experiences with others.
It is competence that supports acquiring talent, skills, or knowledge in the context of a mentoring relationship.

Integrity
Integrity speaks to the wholeness of an individual’s character. Those who do what they say they are going to do inspire trust. The same can be said of those who speak truthfully regarding their opinions, thoughts, and experiences. Integrity is evidenced by the way in which confidential boundaries are maintained, which is vital to mentoring relationships. Integrity also means aligning actions with values.

Caring
Caring is the ability to show concern and interest regarding the needs and desires of another. In mentoring relationships, care is most commonly displayed through showing regard for the expressed learning needs and aspirations of your mentoring partner. This is done through keeping discussions developmentally focused, practicing active listening, and honoring accomplishments. It is also shown by allowing room to unload burdens and process challenging situations.

Competence, integrity, caring—all three areas are critical to developing and maintaining trust. No matter how impeccable someone’s character is, if they cannot demonstrate competency, trusting them is difficult. Similarly, a competent person who shows no personal interest in your well-being is hard to trust with confidential information. Finally, without integrity, competence and caring would ring hollow. Attention must be given to the actions and conversations that support all three of these dimensions of trust in order to build successful mentoring relationships.


Randy Emelo, http://www.3creek.com/index.php?/Newsletters/building-trust-based-mentoring-relationships.html